FAQs

What kind of issues can you help with?  

 I am experienced in and trained to work with a whole range of issues including anxiety, depression, addictions and other compulsive behaviours/disorders (e.g. process addictions such as porn, gambling, online shopping), hoarding,  relationship and intimacy problems, childhood trauma, low self-esteem and others. I also enjoy working with a diverse client group in terms of class, ethnicity, age, sexuality, neurodiversity and gender identity. That said, I particularly enjoy working with men and men's issues, bereavement and loss and anxiety.  I also enjoy working with those who are struggling with a lack of meaning and purpose in their lives. 

Do I need to talk about my trauma? 

No, you don't need to talk about anything you don't want to or don't feel ready to.  In fact it is important to go slowly particularly in relation to traumatic memories or experiences as talking about them prematurely can be overwhelming and potentially re-traumatising for our nervous system. For this reason, it is often important to build a sense of safety, trust and resilience before talking about difficult material. Even then, it is usually wise to do so gradually and  in small increments  in order not to overwhelm our nervous system (this is sometimes known as titration).  Sometimes we may circle round something several times before going into it in any detail and this is often wise with traumatic experiences.  I will be led by you in terms of how much of yourself and your history you want to share and at what pace and I may invite you to slow down if I feel you are going too quickly.  

I don't have any major trauma and just want to talk about problems in my relationship, career or other specific life challenge. 

That is completely fine and you can still benefit from therapy. A common misunderstanding about therapy is that it's only for people whose life is falling apart and/or are having some kind of breakdown but this is not the case . It shouldn't need saying  but I'll say it anyways because of the stigma that can still attach to it; there is nothing shameful about seeking therapy and nor is it a sign of weakness or of failure.  On the contrary, recognising when we need some additional help is a sign of maturity, strength and wisdom. You may be successful and high functioning in many parts of your life but still struggling with a specific issue (s) and where this is the case, therapy can be an effective and helpful way of navigating your way through the difficulty.  Nowadays, there are many well known and successful people in business, entertainment, sports and even politics (!) who talk openly about how they've turned to therapy at various points in their lives. Many if not most of us can benefit from a dedicated space where we can process, reflect on and inquire into what's going on in our lives in the presence of an empathic and responsive other.  

How long does it take to feel better? 

It depends! Short term therapy can be incredibly beneficial particularly if you've not done any therapy before and/or if you are grappling with a specific life issue (such as a bereavement, a  career dilemma or relationship issue).   However,  for many of us the roots of whatever it is that brings us to therapy go deep and it can take  time to unpick and unpack them. Therefore,  long term therapy can be optimum for many of us as it provides us with the consistency and support necessary for lasting change to occur.  That said, we are all different and some of us may be in a place where a few sessions can provide enough of a catalyst to give us the breakthrough we need to effect positive change  in our lives.  There is no one size fits all approach as we are all different. 

If you decide to work with me, we will usually contract to work together for six sessions before reviewing our work and deciding on the next steps. This allows us time to get to know one another, build trust and see whether we are a good fit for one another. 

 What is integrative counselling? 

Integrative counselling combines the approaches of 2 or more different "schools" of psychotherapy into a coherent overarching framework. I trained in a particular integrative model created by the pioneering psychotherapist Petruska Clarkson. Her model harnesses the  psychoanalytical school's intellectual rigour and deep understanding of human developmental psychology and combines this with the warmth, compassion and empathy of the person centred or humanistic school whilst also leaving room for the transpersonal. The transpersonal are those forces beyond our own individual histories or psychology which may nonetheless, have an influence on our lives and could be things such as the collective, the ancestral or the spiritual. Carl Jung famously saw the psychological value in this dimension of human experience and this was one of his points of difference from Freud who took a more "materialist" view of human psychology.  It should be stressed that in the model I use, the transpersonal element is entirely optional and there is no requirement to have any beliefs or interest in this area to work with me.   

I'm a bit confused about all the different types of therapy. Is the type of therapy important? 

Not really. Most research shows that it is not the therapeutic approach which determines  the success  or otherwise of therapy but the quality of the relationship you develop with the therapist. Healing comes through the relationship. Therefore, when deciding whether to work with me or any other counsellor it is more important to  focus on how you feel with them rather than  on their approach or modality.  Is this someone I can see myself working with? Can I be open and honest with them ? Do I feel  safe enough with this person to reveal to them my inner world? Do I feel welcome and accepted by them?  Will they challenge me when appropriate? These are  some of the questions you should ask yourself when deciding whether to work with me (or anyone else). 

Can you diagnose me with PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder) or other mental health conditions such as OCD  (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) or GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder)? 

No, I'm not a clinical psychologist or medical professional and cannot provide this type of diagnosis. However, I can help you explore what a diagnosis might mean for you both practically and emotionally. For some of us, having a diagnosis can provide us with important validation as well as giving us greater understanding and clarity about something we may have struggled with for a long time. It may also give us access to additional support or services. If you decide to go down this route, then I can support you in obtaining a diagnosis from the relevant people. 

I've heard that psychedelics have a lot of therapeutic potential. Is this something you can help  me to explore or work with? 

It's true that research into the therapeutic potential of psychedelics is growing rapidly led by prestigious institutions such as the Centre for Psychedelic Research at Imperial College, London. The seemingly successful results from some of the clinical trials of psychedelics used in conjunction with therapy have led to claims that we are on the verge of a revolution in the treatment of mental health.  I would be cautious about some of the more hyperbolic claims being made for them, They are not a panacea to the mental health crisis but they can, if used wisely and in conjunction with other tools such as therapy, offer therapeutic benefits. Psychedelic assisted therapy has already been legalised in certain states in the US, Canada and Australia and there is speculation that the UK could follow suit soon. However, for the time being psychedelics remain illegal in this country. Therefore I do not  work with psychedelics and nor do I recommend or suggest  that you use illicit substances  in illegal or unregulated  environments.  However, I can work with people who wish to explore whether or not to try psychedelics (in a safe and legal context) and I can also work with those who wish to integrate or process an experience they've had with psychedelics.